Favorite Sentences

5/20/10
Mr. Salsich
English

Favorite Sentences

1.) “These contrasting personalities, these difficulties, they weave together perfectly to create magnificent feathers that make each and every one of us special.” 

(Essay 6, 10/21/09- Feather: Two Colors, Two Personalities, One Person)

I really like this sentence because it is graceful and poetic. It uses good imagery and has good repetition of “these”.

2.) “This little red rooster, who “thought Atticus (was) an easy match,” was stunned when he was reduced to a pale, weak and tiny man by a simple question from this so called “easy match.””

(Essay 10, 12/9/09- Metaphors, A Way to Describe: An Essay on the Analysis of Metaphors In To Kill a Mockingbird, and My Life)

I really like this sentence because it is very descriptive and graceful, and has good usage of quotes from the book. I also believe it has good diction.

3.) “Out of bravery, out of integrity, out of a sense of injustice, and out of the passion for change, the black people fought for their freedom.” 

(Essay 13, 1/27/10- Racism: An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life)

I really like this sentence because it is a wonderful periodic sentence. Also, it has a good use of tricolon (out of…). Lastly, I believe this sentence is graceful and carefully written. It is one of my most powerful sentences.

4.) “My beliefs affect what I do, who I interact with, what I say; my beliefs affect who I am.”

(Essay 23, 5/17/ 2010- This I Believe: An Essay on My Beliefs)

I really like this sentence because it is a good example of purposeful repetition. The sentence is concrete, to-the-point and powerful.  

5.) “This action is not something you can simply “make better;” this action is not something you can fix; this action is not forgivable.”

(Essay 18, 3/10/10- Forgiveness: An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life)

I really like this sentence because it is a smooth and well written sentence. It has good use of tricolon (this action is…).

6.) “Some people may be more different than others, but if you try to look past these differences, you may find a splendid person; a truly good friend.”

(Essay 22, 5/6/10- Discovering Beauty: An Essay on Finding Beauty in My Life and in A Poem)

I enjoy this sentence because it has great use of purposeful repetition. It repeats good and a synonym of the word good (splendid). The sentence also sends a good message to people about finding beauty where it is not expected.

7.) “This song --filled with solemn melodies, poetic lyrics, and a sincere message-- really touches my heart.”

(Essay 19, 4/8/10- Songs: An Essay on Songs Related to Romeo and Juliet, and My Life)

This is a good sentence because it has a good use of an appositive phrase. The sentence uses the appositive phrase to describe the song very well.

8.) ““Break," by Three Days Grace --a stupendous (thesaurus), powerful song-- can be related to Romeo and Juliet in many ways.”

(Essay 19, 4/8/10- Songs: An Essay on Songs Related to Romeo and Juliet, and My Life)

This is a good sentence because it flows nicely and has a good usage of appositives used to describe.

9.) “What he did was cruel, what he did was unjustified, what he did can never be forgiven.”

(Essay 18, 3/10/10- Forgiveness: An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life)

I really enjoy this sentence because it is graceful, and uses good purposeful repetition (what he did…).

10.) “No matter where he goes, Atticus is always polite, always well mannered, always well dressed with his suits and ties; he is always kind and thoughtful, always displaying the characteristics of a true gentleman.”

(Essay 17, 3/5/10- Ladies and Gentlemen: An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Opinions)

I really like this sentence because it flows very well. It has a good use of purposeful repetition (always…) and it is a great example of a loose sentence.

Chris Essay 23

May 17, 2010

Hamilton Salsich

English

This I Believe:

An Essay on My Beliefs

(TS) Many people have many different beliefs about things, and these beliefs cause them to live their lives in specific ways. (CM) For instance, a person who believes in peace may live their life in a way that is against all violence. (CM) Although I do not practice my beliefs this strongly, the things I believe in still influence my life greatly. (CS) My beliefs affect what I do, who I interact with, what I say; my beliefs affect who I am. (Purposeful repetition)

(TS) Beliefs are keys to life, and they affect who we are as people. These are the beliefs that I have. (SD) Firstly, I believe in peace. (CM) If you look at the world around us, things that run smoothly, are things that are peaceful. For example, peaceful countries have stable economies, steadfast (thesaurus) people, and positive global relations. (CM) Also, peace is something you need in everyday life. If everybody was fighting with each other, nothing would get done. (SD) Secondly, I believe in friendship. (CM) Without friends, no one to talk to or hang out with, life would be rather boring. (CM) Also, My friends are always there for me; they are there to talk to me, and help me, and I have no idea what I would do without them. (SD) Thirdly, I believe in happiness. (CM) Without happiness, going through daily life would be doleful (thesaurus). (CM) Happiness is great; it outweighs sadness no matter what. Even if I am going through tough times, if I remember the happy times, I feel much better. (CS) Finally, I believe that all of these things put together, are part of the key to life. If you examine them closely you see that to have friendship you need peace, and to have happiness, you need friendship.

(Note to Mr. Salsich: You mentioned that I should add more to my supporting details. While I agree with this in most situations, I believe this essay is more powerful when the beliefs are stated simply in a few number of words.)

(TS) Everyone looks at the world differently, so you must never denounce (thesaurus) someone for their beliefs, or let others’ beliefs influence you. (CM) Listen to others’ beliefs and opinions, but don’t let them affect you. Be free to believe what you want to believe. (CM) Also, do not criticize others. Just because they don’t have the same beliefs as you, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

Self Assessment

The hardest part of this essay for me was fitting all of my beliefs into one paragraph.

(Mr. Salsich, if you used this theme with future classes perhaps you could make it 2 body paragraphs.) The biggest difference between my first and second drafts is my body paragraph. I wrote my original body paragraph rather simplistically, but I added a lot and made it much better writing in the second draft. However, I think writing the first draft very simplistic helped me. Instead of focusing on the words I was using, I focused on the grammar, and for me it is easier to have proper grammar, and add the words later. I believe the strongest part of this essay is the body paragraphs concluding sentence. It shows that that my beliefs all go together to help me in life. Overall, I would give myself a B+ or A- on this essay.

Chris Essay 22
May 6, 2010
Mr. Salsich
English

Discovering Beauty:
An Essay on Finding Beauty in My Life and in A Poem 

(TS) Nothing is ugly just because someone says so. (CM) To one person something may be the most beautiful thing ever, but to others, it’s as ugly as ugly gets. (CM) Find the beauty you want, and don’t let others’ opinions influence you. (CS) Everybody looks at things differently, and everyone has, at one point, found beauty where others have not.

(TS) Today’s world is so focused over looks, that often the character of a person becomes obscured. However, Naomi Shihab Nye teaches us in her poem, “A Valentine for Ernest Mann,” that we must look past appearance to the true qualities of a person. (SD) We must look past what other people see about things to see their true personality, this theme is apparent in the poem, “A Valentine for Ernest Mann.” (CM) In the poem Ms. Nye talks about a man who buys two skunks for his wife, but when she screams he says, “I thought they had such beautiful eyes.” (CM) The man looked past the fact that people thought the skunks were revolting (thesaurus), and saw their true beauty, he saw the skunk’s true identity. (SD) There have been many instances in my life where I have looked past what everyone else thought, and have seen the true character in people. (CM) People may have labeled someone as “outlandish (thesaurus),” or “different,” but I have taken the initiative to look past these labels, and have met some pretty amazing people. (CM) With these many experiences I have learned one thing, “Nothing [is] ugly [or weird] just because the world [says] so.” (CS) If you act like the man with the skunks you will find it’s not about what everyone else thinks of something, it is solely about what you think of something. (purposeful repetition)

(TS) Everyone is different, and everyone sees things differently. In my life I have had many experiences where I have found beauty where others have not. (SD) One example of me finding something good where others do not is music. (CM) I sometimes listen to heavy, rock music, which some people find repulsive (thesaurus). They simply hear loud bashing and yelling, where I see skilled guitar playing, and difficult vocals. (CM) I hear marvelous music where others hear trash. (SD) Another example is that I have had many instances where there has been a person people think is aberrant (thesaurus), but I see them differently. (CM) Many of these people only looked at what was on the outside of the person, but I took the initiative to look past their appearance and see their inner beauty. (CM) All of us are different; there are no two of the exact same people in this world. Some people may be more different than others, but if you try to look past these differences, you may find a splendid person; a truly good friend. (Purposeful repetition) (SD) Another example is that sometimes I am forced to do something by my parents, like mow the lawn. (CM) At first I may be angry, but after I have finished mowing the lawn, I marvel at how beautiful it is. I do not see two hours of time wasted anymore. I see the sun reflecting off a luscious (thesaurus), freshly cut lawn.  (CM) I had to reinvent the situation, and make it beautiful. (CS) Everyone sees the world differently, and sometimes, you need to open your eyes up a little, and see the world from a different perspective.

(CS) At some point in their lives, everyone will find beauty where others don’t. (CS) It may be hidden in a poem; it may be in a person, or it may be stowed away in an object, but one day you will find it. (CM) Others may not see it, so it is your job to cherish this beauty for what it is. (CS) Beauty is everywhere, in everything, so what are you doing reading this essay? Go out and find it.

Self Assessment:

 One problem I see in this essay is that it is all about one topic and both paragraphs are similar. This means things can get a little repetitive. A strong point is that I feel really strongly about the opinions I presented. I think they make the essay personal. My biggest weakness would probably be my first body paragraph. The second chunk is completely about the poem, it strays from the topic slightly. Overall, I would give myself a B+ on this essay.