Thursday, May 20, 2010

Favorite Sentences




5/20/10
Mr. Salsich
English
Favorite Sentences

1.) These contrasting personalities, these difficulties, they weave together perfectly to create magnificent feathers that make each and every one of us special.” 
(Essay 6, 10/21/09- Feather: Two Colors, Two Personalities, One Person)

I really like this sentence because it is graceful and poetic. It uses good imagery and has good repetition of “these”.


2.) “This little red rooster, who “thought Atticus (was) an easy match,” was stunned when he was reduced to a pale, weak and tiny man by a simple question from this so called “easy match.”
(Essay 10, 12/9/09- Metaphors, A Way to Describe: An Essay on the Analysis of Metaphors In To Kill a Mockingbird, and My Life)

I really like this sentence because it is very descriptive and graceful, and has good usage of quotes from the book. I also believe it has good diction.

3.) Out of bravery, out of integrity, out of a sense of injustice, and out of the passion for change, the black people fought for their freedom.” 

(Essay 13, 1/27/10- Racism: An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life)

I really like this sentence because it is a wonderful periodic sentence. Also, it has a good use of tricolon (out of…). Lastly, I believe this sentence is graceful and carefully written. It is one of my most powerful sentences.


4.)My beliefs affect what I do, who I interact with, what I say; my beliefs affect who I am.
(Essay 23, 5/17/ 2010- This I Believe: An Essay on My Beliefs)

I really like this sentence because it is a good example of purposeful repetition. The sentence is concrete, to-the-point and powerful.  

5.) “This action is not something you can simply “make better;” this action is not something you can fix; this action is not forgivable.
(Essay 18, 3/10/10- Forgiveness: An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life)

I really like this sentence because it is a smooth and well written sentence. It has good use of tricolon (this action is…).


6.) Some people may be more different than others, but if you try to look past these differences, you may find a splendid person; a truly good friend.
(Essay 22, 5/6/10- Discovering Beauty: An Essay on Finding Beauty in My Life and in A Poem)

I enjoy this sentence because it has great use of purposeful repetition. It repeats good and a synonym of the word good (splendid). The sentence also sends a good message to people about finding beauty where it is not expected.


7.) “This song --filled with solemn melodies, poetic lyrics, and a sincere message-- really touches my heart.

(Essay 19, 4/8/10- Songs: An Essay on Songs Related to Romeo and Juliet, and My Life)

This is a good sentence because it has a good use of an appositive phrase. The sentence uses the appositive phrase to describe the song very well.


8.) “Break," by Three Days Grace --a stupendous (thesaurus), powerful song-- can be related to Romeo and Juliet in many ways.
(Essay 19, 4/8/10- Songs: An Essay on Songs Related to Romeo and Juliet, and My Life)

This is a good sentence because it flows nicely and has a good usage of appositives used to describe.


9.) “What he did was cruel, what he did was unjustified, what he did can never be forgiven.
(Essay 18, 3/10/10- Forgiveness: An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life)

I really enjoy this sentence because it is graceful, and uses good purposeful repetition (what he did…).


10.) “No matter where he goes, Atticus is always polite, always well mannered, always well dressed with his suits and ties; he is always kind and thoughtful, always displaying the characteristics of a true gentleman.”
(Essay 17, 3/5/10- Ladies and Gentlemen: An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Opinions)

I really like this sentence because it flows very well. It has a good use of purposeful repetition (always…) and it is a great example of a loose sentence.




Monday, May 17, 2010


Chris Essay 23
May 17, 2010
Hamilton Salsich
English

This I Believe:
An Essay on My Beliefs

(TS) Many people have many different beliefs about things, and these beliefs cause them to live their lives in specific ways. (CM) For instance, a person who believes in peace may live their life in a way that is against all violence. (CM) Although I do not practice my beliefs this strongly, the things I believe in still influence my life greatly. (CS) My beliefs affect what I do, who I interact with, what I say; my beliefs affect who I am. (Purposeful repetition)

(TS) Beliefs are keys to life, and they affect who we are as people. These are the beliefs that I have. (SD) Firstly, I believe in peace. (CM) If you look at the world around us, things that run smoothly, are things that are peaceful. For example, peaceful countries have stable economies, steadfast (thesaurus) people, and positive global relations. (CM) Also, peace is something you need in everyday life. If everybody was fighting with each other, nothing would get done. (SD) Secondly, I believe in friendship. (CM) Without friends, no one to talk to or hang out with, life would be rather boring. (CM) Also, My friends are always there for me; they are there to talk to me, and help me, and I have no idea what I would do without them. (SD) Thirdly, I believe in happiness. (CM) Without happiness, going through daily life would be doleful (thesaurus). (CM) Happiness is great; it outweighs sadness no matter what. Even if I am going through tough times, if I remember the happy times, I feel much better. (CS) Finally, I believe that all of these things put together, are part of the key to life. If you examine them closely you see that to have friendship you need peace, and to have happiness, you need friendship.

(Note to Mr. Salsich: You mentioned that I should add more to my supporting details. While I agree with this in most situations, I believe this essay is more powerful when the beliefs are stated simply in a few number of words.)

(TS) Everyone looks at the world differently, so you must never denounce (thesaurus) someone for their beliefs, or let others’ beliefs influence you. (CM) Listen to others’ beliefs and opinions, but don’t let them affect you. Be free to believe what you want to believe. (CM) Also, do not criticize others. Just because they don’t have the same beliefs as you, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

Self Assessment

The hardest part of this essay for me was fitting all of my beliefs into one paragraph.
(Mr. Salsich, if you used this theme with future classes perhaps you could make it 2 body paragraphs.) The biggest difference between my first and second drafts is my body paragraph. I wrote my original body paragraph rather simplistically, but I added a lot and made it much better writing in the second draft. However, I think writing the first draft very simplistic helped me. Instead of focusing on the words I was using, I focused on the grammar, and for me it is easier to have proper grammar, and add the words later. I believe the strongest part of this essay is the body paragraphs concluding sentence. It shows that that my beliefs all go together to help me in life. Overall, I would give myself a B+ or A- on this essay.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Chris Essay 22
May 6, 2010
Mr. Salsich
English
Discovering Beauty:
An Essay on Finding Beauty in My Life and in A Poem 

(TS) Nothing is ugly just because someone says so. (CM) To one person something may be the most beautiful thing ever, but to others, it’s as ugly as ugly gets. (CM) Find the beauty you want, and don’t let others’ opinions influence you. (CS) Everybody looks at things differently, and everyone has, at one point, found beauty where others have not.

(TS) Today’s world is so focused over looks, that often the character of a person becomes obscured. However, Naomi Shihab Nye teaches us in her poem, “A Valentine for Ernest Mann,” that we must look past appearance to the true qualities of a person. (SD) We must look past what other people see about things to see their true personality, this theme is apparent in the poem, “A Valentine for Ernest Mann.” (CM) In the poem Ms. Nye talks about a man who buys two skunks for his wife, but when she screams he says, “I thought they had such beautiful eyes.” (CM) The man looked past the fact that people thought the skunks were revolting (thesaurus), and saw their true beauty, he saw the skunk’s true identity. (SD) There have been many instances in my life where I have looked past what everyone else thought, and have seen the true character in people. (CM) People may have labeled someone as “outlandish (thesaurus),” or “different,” but I have taken the initiative to look past these labels, and have met some pretty amazing people. (CM) With these many experiences I have learned one thing, “Nothing [is] ugly [or weird] just because the world [says] so.” (CS) If you act like the man with the skunks you will find it’s not about what everyone else thinks of something, it is solely about what you think of something. (purposeful repetition)



(TS) Everyone is different, and everyone sees things differently. In my life I have had many experiences where I have found beauty where others have not. (SD) One example of me finding something good where others do not is music. (CM) I sometimes listen to heavy, rock music, which some people find repulsive (thesaurus). They simply hear loud bashing and yelling, where I see skilled guitar playing, and difficult vocals. (CM) I hear marvelous music where others hear trash. (SD) Another example is that I have had many instances where there has been a person people think is aberrant (thesaurus), but I see them differently. (CM) Many of these people only looked at what was on the outside of the person, but I took the initiative to look past their appearance and see their inner beauty. (CM) All of us are different; there are no two of the exact same people in this world. Some people may be more different than others, but if you try to look past these differences, you may find a splendid person; a truly good friend. (Purposeful repetition) (SD) Another example is that sometimes I am forced to do something by my parents, like mow the lawn. (CM) At first I may be angry, but after I have finished mowing the lawn, I marvel at how beautiful it is. I do not see two hours of time wasted anymore. I see the sun reflecting off a luscious (thesaurus), freshly cut lawn.  (CM) I had to reinvent the situation, and make it beautiful. (CS) Everyone sees the world differently, and sometimes, you need to open your eyes up a little, and see the world from a different perspective.


(CS) At some point in their lives, everyone will find beauty where others don’t. (CS) It may be hidden in a poem; it may be in a person, or it may be stowed away in an object, but one day you will find it. (CM) Others may not see it, so it is your job to cherish this beauty for what it is. (CS) Beauty is everywhere, in everything, so what are you doing reading this essay? Go out and find it.


Self Assessment:
 One problem I see in this essay is that it is all about one topic and both paragraphs are similar. This means things can get a little repetitive. A strong point is that I feel really strongly about the opinions I presented. I think they make the essay personal. My biggest weakness would probably be my first body paragraph. The second chunk is completely about the poem, it strays from the topic slightly. Overall, I would give myself a B+ on this essay.

Thursday, April 29, 2010


Chris Essay 21
4/29/10
Mr. Salsich
English
Multi Genre Essay:
Friendship
Dear reader,
            If you are accustomed to the normal, formal essay, this may be a little confusing to you. This is a multi-genre essay including a standard poem, a haiku, a recipe, and an expository paragraph. My expository paragraph talks about examples in the famous play, Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare. The entire essay is about the theme of friendship.

Sincerely,
Chris

Poem: A True Friend

Always kind,
Always caring,
Always there,
Always trustworthy,
Always strong,
Always helpful,
Always generous,
Always special,
Always a true friend.

In everyone’s lives there is a true friend;

Someone who changes your life by simply being there;

Someone who makes you laugh endlessly; 

Someone who makes everyday a good day;

Someone who you love.


When you're down, 

And the world seems dark and empty, 

Your true friends lifts you up,

And makes that dark and empty world

Suddenly seem bright and full.

Your true friend is like the sun,
Rising above the black night,
Creating the bright, beautiful day.

Your true friends get you through the hard times,

The sad times, and the confusing times;

Your true friend is there to guide you,

They are there to tell you,
“Everything is going to be okay.”

Your true friends are the epitome of happiness,

They complete your life.
These friends are part of you,
Without them, you are nothing. 

Your true friends are your friends forever,

And lucky for you,
Forever has no end.


Recipe for Friendship

1. Always be kind.
            --Kindness is one of the keys to a good friendship. If you are mean to someone, why would they want to be your friend?

2. Always be honest.
            --Even if you make a mistake, it is good to be honest with your friend. It is easier for them to forgive someone they trust.

3. Always Communicate.
            --If you do not communicate with your friend regularly either through seeing them in person or communicating another way, they might feel left out and un-loved.

4. Always be helpful.
            --You must always be there for your friend. Even if you do not help them in a       major way, just saying little things to them will make them feel better.

If you follow these steps you will be a truly great friend.

Expository Paragraph


(TS) In Romeo and Juliet, there are many examples of friendship. (SD) The first example is when his friends get him to go to the party. (CM) His friends like him and want to have a good time, so they bring him to the party. (CM) Also, if they hadn’t been good friends and brought him to the party, he would not have met Juliet. (SD) Another friend he has in the story is a beautiful, charming, and kind girl named Juliet.  (CM) Juliet immediately charms him with her beauty, but he realizes she’s more than that; he realizes she’s a good person, and a good friend. (CM) One reason she is a good friend is that she is sensible with her decisions. For example starting on line 124 she says, “I have no joy in this contact tonight. It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden, too like the lightening, which doth cease to be.” She does not want to be too fast with their relationship; a beautiful flower can only come from a bud that has slowly ripened. Beautiful flowers do not magically appear on their’ own. (CS) Friendship can progress into a relationship, but if it moves too suddenly, it causes conflict.


Haiku

My friends are awesome,
They really care about me,
My friends define ME.


Self Assessment

One difficulty I faced in this essay was using correctness. In a normal essay it is easy to spot punctuation mistakes, but when I write poems, I tend to not use proper punctuation. One way that I tried to help myself with this is that I first wrote my poem out as a paragraph and then split it into different lines after I had checked for punctuation. I believe a strong point in this essay is my poem. I really like how my poem is written. It flows very well and gives a good message. In future multi-genre essays I would still like to focus on correct punctuation. If I had to give myself a grade I would myself an A-.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Chris Essay 20
April 20, 2010
Mr. Salsich
English
FINAL DRAFT
Family Matters:
An Essay on the Role Models in To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life

(TS) Family members are there your whole lives, so they must be altruistic role models for you. (CM) Over the years, I have learned many things from the role models in my life, and fortunately, they have all been good. (CM) Everyone has family members in their lives, including the characters in To Kill a Mockingbird. (CS) I can find many relations between these characters and my real life role models. One relation is that some of the characters and my family members both posses kind, caring and unselfish hearts.

(TS) I truly admire the many great members of my family. (SD) Firstly, I truly admire my astounding mother because she has an amazing job. (CM)  Amazingly, she has the tough, the strenuous and the arduous job of being a scientist for 25 years, as well as raising a child. (Parallelism)  (CM) She has maintained this job, but also has cooked family dinner's and helped me in my studies, as well as other tasks. (SD) Another character in my family that I admire is my marvelous father. (CM) My father has worked hard as an engineer, but has also somehow managed to be a normal father to me. (CM) Also, as an engineer for the navy, he has gone on numerous submarine voyages beneath the ocean’s surface. I admire this very much, as I know I would never be brave enough to do this. (SD) The final, and possibly most admirable person in my family, is my charismatic, clever and cool (Alliteration, thesaurus word and repetition) babci(grandmother). (CM) She has not only raised my mother, but she has also been a major part in raising me. (CM) Ever since I was little she has gone out of her way to support me. She would make the hour’s drive at a moment’s notice to come and see me or take care of me. (CS) These admirable people in my life are amazing, and I hope that one day, I can be as astounding as them.


(TS) I have found a few ways that my admirable babci (grandmother) can be related to To Kill a Mockingbird. (SD) Just like Atticus Finch, my babci is a great person; she is caring, thoughtful, pleasant, kind, willing and patient. (Loose sentence) (CM) Atticus is always patient with his children, and cared for them very much; my prodigious (thesaurus word) babci was the same way while helping to raise me. (CM) She would always care for me whole-heartedly, and was always patient with my childhood behaviors. (SD) Another character I can relate my astonishing babci to in To Kill a Mockingbird is Aunt Alexandria. (CM) Aunt Alexandria tried to bestow her ladylike ways upon Scout, and my babci did a similar thing to me. (CM) Throughout my childhood she taught me manners, as well as the values of dignity, respect, integrity. She taught me how to be a good person. (CS) The marvelous family values that my babci possesses can be related to the values of characters in To Kill a Mockingbird.

(TS) As role models, family members reflect their actions upon others. (CM) In fact, if you observe a family, a child will usually act a lot like their parent or other family member because that is who they emulate. (CM) An example of this in To Kill a Mockingbird is that by the end of the book, Scout notices that Jem is becoming wise and able to answer questions, just like his father. (CS) I hope to continue to learn from my family members, the role models in my life because one day, I will be a role model to the next generation.



Self Assessment:


The most difficult part of this essay for me was deciding what family members to use. This is not because I thought none were admirable, rather so many are admirable, that I had to decide three. The biggest difference between my first and final drafts is that I worked on polishing up the essay to make sure it had good style. Although I feel i made good points in my first draft, some of them were not as clearly written as I would like, so I tried to focus on editing this. The best part of my essay was probably the topics. I feel that I chose great examples of admirable family members and made good points about them. I feel that I could have looked it over more carefully to make it flow better, and also I believe I could have added more information to the essay to support my thoughts better. Overall, I believe I deserve a B.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Poem

Sadness
By Chris Collins

Everyone goes through tough times;
It’s part of life.
But the only way sadness can last forever,
Is if you let it.

Fight it,
Push it away,
And never let it win.

It can take over your life;
Controlling you,
Like a puppeteer manipulates his puppet.

Don’t ever let this happen.
Cut these restraints that bind you.
Be free;
Free from heartache’s evil ways.

You must remember this:
Everyone faces difficulties in their lives,
And sadness will overtake you,
Like a hurricane;  
Like the blackened veil of night.
But remember, no matter what,
The storm will always pass and
Dawn will always come.

Thursday, April 8, 2010


Chris Essay 19
April 8, 2010
Mr. Salsich
English
Songs
An Essay on Songs Related to Romeo and Juliet, and My Life

(TS) Songs are some of the most powerful forms of poetry. (CM) A song can speak right to your heart, and to me it is more powerful than a poem. (CM) One of the reasons it is more powerful is because it is accompanied by music. This music sets the mood of the song, making it more dramatic than plain, spoken poetry. (CS) Songs are very important to me as they can be related to many things like Romeo and Juliet, as well as my own life.

(TS) I had to think extensively (thesaurus) about what to use as my song, but I finally came to the conclusion to use, “Seize the Day,” by Avenged Sevenfold. (SD) In the song, they say, “Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost.” Our time here on earth is short, so it is necessary for us live life to its fullest. (CM) During the rather insignificant (thesaurus) amount of time we have on this earth, we must seize the day and live life the way we want to. (CM) We must not dwell on our past mistakes; we must keep looking toward the future and seize the day. If we don’t control our lives, at the end we will regret that we wasted our life over a simple mistake. (SD) This song --filled with solemn melodies, poetic lyrics, and a sincere message-- really touches my heart. (appositive) (CM) This is not only a well sung song; it has very powerful lyrics that really make you think about the way your living life. (CM) The music video is extremely heartbreaking, and makes me realize that I must think carefully about the decisions I make. These decisions can change my entire life, for better, or for worse. (CS) Whenever I find myself doing nothing, I remember this song and I go and do something because every moment in our lives is precious. I must seize the day and live my life before I have no life left to live. If you were to die tomorrow, would you be satisfied with the way you lived life?

(TS) “Break," by Three Days Grace --a stupendous (thesaurus), powerful song-- can be related to Romeo and Juliet in many ways. (appositive) (SD) The song says, "Break away from everybody, break away from everything," and this is exactly what Romeo did. (CM) Romeo broke away from his family’s traditions and sought out love with someone from the "opposing" family. (CM) He also, “broke away,” from everybody by ignoring them to be with his star-crossed lover. (SD) The song also says, "If you can't stand the way this place is, take yourself to higher places;" just like Romeo did. (CM) Romeo escaped from the world and, "took himself to higher places," by confining himself in his room, concerning his family. (CM) Romeo also, "couldn't stand," the quarreling (thesaurus) between his family and his star crossed lover’s family, so he took himself to higher places by killing himself. (CS) If you were in Romeo’s position, would you listen to the song and, “break away,” and fall in love with Juliet?

(TS) Songs are very important as they can be related to many things, as well as everyone’s lives in some way. (CM) In my opinion, it is impossible to not be able to find a song that somehow fits your life. (CM) I have found many songs that relate to my life, as well as to many other things I have come across. (CS) If you had to pick one song that summed up your entire life the best, what song would you pick?

Self Assessment:

For me, the hardest thing about this essay was thinking of songs to use. I know many good songs, and many of them could somehow be related to Romeo and Juliet. Also, of the tons of songs I like, many are important in my life. This is why it was very difficult to narrow it down to two songs that I thought worked the best. I am happy with the songs I chose. I believe I improve on my past essays by writing a more clear and thoughtful essay, with very straightforward opinions. In my next essay I would like to add even more thesaurus words, and make my writing more “fluid”. Overall, I would give myself a B on this essay.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Chris Essay 18
March 10, 2010
Mr. Salsich
English
FINAL DRAFT FOR GRADING
Forgiveness:
An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life

(TS) Bryant H. McGill once said, “There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” (CM) You must forgive someone to truly love them, but if you do not love them at all in the first place, then why would you want to forgive them? (CM) If everyone in this world judged people by their mistakes, almost everyone would be enemies. (CM) Everyone makes mistakes, and true love is shown by the ability to forgive people of. (CS) Forgiveness is used every day, as evident in To Kill a Mockingbird, and my own life.

(TS) Forgiveness is hard to come by, and Mayella Ewell deserves it, but Mr. Ewell does not. (SD) To me, forgiveness means putting yourself in someone’s place to understand why they did something, and this is what the people of Maycomb had to do for Mayella and Bob Ewell. (CM) If you put yourself in Mayells’s place you see that she lied to the courtroom for the fear of being beaten by her father. (CM) On the other hand, if you put yourself in Mr. Ewell’s place you see that what he did was unjustified. He beat her for no reason, and forced her to lie to the court. These actions are appalling and unforgivable. (SD) Although Mayella Ewell lied to a courtroom, if she did not her father most likely would have beaten her. (CM) Her father proved that he would in fact beat her, and this image of terror was instilled in her mind throughout the trial. (CM) If I was in the same position I would have probably told the truth, but Mayella was under immense pressure to lie. You could tell she was being forced to lie by her displays of emotion. (SD) Mr. Ewell can never be forgiven for his actions. (CM) What he did was cruel, what he did was unjustified, what he did can never be forgiven. (tricolon) (CM) Mr. Ewell harmed the person he gave life, and to me, this is one of the worst crimes. (CS) You need to understand someone to forgive them, but if you cannot understand why someone did something, than there might not be a reason to forgive them.

(TS) It is a fact that everybody makes mistakes, but not everyone can be forgiven for these mistakes. (SD) If you make a simple mistake like receiving a bad grade, you should be forgiven. (CM) Being forgiven can actually help you improve. (CM) If you are forgiven for your mistake, you have a fresh start rather than having the bad grade “hanging” above your head. (SD) If you make a “medium” level mistake such as harming someone slightly (recoverable injuries), you can be forgiven. (CM) This forgiveness may take longer and would require harder work. (CM) If you help them heal, and sufficiently apologize, you may be forgiven. (SD) However, if you hurt someone in a way in which you cause death or leave permanent emotional or physical scarring, you should not be forgiven. (CM) This action is not something you can simply “make better;” this action is not something you can fix; this action is not forgivable. (tricolon) (CM) Although you cannot be forgiven for your actions, I also believe you should not be punished. (CS) Forgiveness is not something you simply receive; it is something you earn.

(TS) Forgiveness is hard to achieve, but once you are forgiven, you know you are truly loved. (CM) Mayella knew that the people of Maycomb loved her. (CM) They forgave her for lying to the court because they knew she was forced to do it. (CM) If I make a mistake, but am forgiven, I know that the person who forgave me loves me, even if they are still mad. (CS) When someone does something wrong, it creates so much emotion, that sometimes, forgiveness is easier said than done.

Self-Assessment:
This essay was very difficult for me to write about because I have different opinions about forgiveness. For instance, in my first body paragraph’s CS I said that if you cannot understand why someone did something you cannot forgive them. As I look back at this I realize that just because you don’t understand why someone did something, doesn’t necessarily mean what they did was wrong an unforgivable. Everyone looks at things differently, and I now realize this is a mistake I made in my essay. I believe that I improved immensely from my first to second draft. I overlooked many mistakes in my first draft that I fixed for my second draft. With these errors fixed, my paragraph flows a lot better. I still feel I could have added a few more thesaurus words to make my paragraph better. Overall, I believe this was a fairly good essay and I would give myself a B+.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Chris Essay 17
March 5, 2010
Mr. Salsich
English
Ladies and Gentlemen:
An Essay on To Kill a Mockingbird and My Opinions
           
(TS) The terms ladies and gentlemen are used a lot throughout our society, but do you think it is right to use them? (CM) Most people do not see a problem with these terms and simply see them as the proper way to be polite. (CM) However, many people believe the terms are offensive, for example, when a man pulls out a chair, or hold a door for a woman, it makes some women feel inferior because they want to be independent and do it themselves. (CM) What do you think about these terms that are used in To Kill a Mockingbird and throughout life?

            (TS) Ladies and gentlemen are terms that apply to many people in To Kill a Mockingbird. (SD) Atticus is the first person who could be described as a fine gentleman. (CM) When at home, when at work, when in his neighborhood, and when visiting others, Atticus Finch is a kind, polite, and well dressed; he is a true gentleman. (Anaphora) (CM) No matter where he goes, Atticus is always polite, always well mannered, always well dressed with his suits and ties, always kind and thoughtful, always displaying the characteristics of a true gentleman. (Loose Sentence) Atticus was kind and told Mrs. Dubose, “[her] flowers are beautiful.” (SD) Calpurnia is fine example of a kind lady in the book. (CM) Most black house keepers in those times cooked, cleaned and simply did their job, but Cal takes care of the children as if they were her own.  Atticus once said, “We couldn’t operate a single day without Cal, have you ever thought of that?” (CM) She willingly stays longer when Atticus needs her to, and is genuinely kind to the children and Atticus. These traits make her a truly great lady. (SD) Boo Radley, a shy man that almost never comes out of his house, displays the true kindness of a gentleman on the rare occasions that he does come out. (Appositive) (CM) One example was when he neatly sewed and folded Jem’s pants, and placed them on the fence. This is an action of a true gentleman, who is considerate of others. (CM) Another example was when he was at the Finches house at the end of the book. He was so quiet and polite, never interrupting anyone; Scout even said, “Having been so accustomed to his absence, I found it incredible that he had been sitting beside me all this time. He had not made a sound.” (CS) In To Kill a Mockingbird there are many examples of ladies and gentlemen, whether their kind characteristics are prevalent or, subdued like Boo Radley’s.

            (TS) A fine gentleman, or a kind lady were terms used frequently many years ago, but are not used very much today, for many reasons. (SD) To me, these terms are sometimes used mistakenly to solely describe the physical appearance rather than the character of a person. (CM) A person may be dressed in prim formal attire, presenting themselves as a gentleman or lady, but once you get to know them they may be despicable and rude. (CM) This idea of a gentleman and a lady fits perfectly with the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover," because a person's character may be different than their appearance. (SD) Also, a person might feel uncomfortable when you call them a lady or a gentleman. (CM) They may feel that these terms are too formal, and make them feel uncomfortable when they are hoping for a more casual term. (CM) They may want you to call them something more casual or personal, like their first name. (SD) The term ladies can also offend some women. (CM) Some girls like to feel independent, and when they are constantly called a lady, or have to wait to have a chair pulled out for them they feel inferior, they feel weak, and they feel like they don’t have independence. (CM) At times, it can be polite to call someone a lady or a gentleman, but you should first ask them if they find it offensive.

            (TS) The terms ladies and gentlemen are terms that have been used and always will be used, but must be utilized differently in these changing times. (CM) Before calling someone a lady or a gentleman you should always check with them first. (CM) Although many people see it as a form of respect, some people do not like the terms lady or gentleman. (CS) Refraining from using these terms should not make you appear rude; even without them, you can still be polite.

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Self Assessment:

This essay was difficult for me because the entire essay is about the words ladies and gentlemen. They needed to be repeated so many times throughout my essay and it was hard to think of alternative words. The main difference between my first and second drafts is that in my second draft I cleaned my essay up and polished it with some more descriptive words from the dictionary. My favorite parts of the essay are my “special effects” sentences. I believe they are good and really add to the paragraph. Some of the sentences are a little confusing as it was difficult to fit my many ideas into a short essay, so if I were to rewrite this essay I would surely clean these up. I would also use a few more descriptive “dictionary” words to replace some of my current words. Overall I believe this was a good essay although not my best, and I would give myself a solid B or B+.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Chris Essay 16
March 1, 2010
Mr. Salsich
English
An Essay on the Theme “Forgotten”
Dear reader,
            This may be confusing to you so I will explain what this essay is. This essay is a multi-genre essay about the theme of “forgotten”. The essay consists of four genres including a haiku, a poem, a recipe, and an expository paragraph relating the theme “forgotten” to the book, To Kill a Mockingbird. I hope that this will help you understand my essay, and I hope that my essay will be “unforgettable.”

Poem:

I have felt forgotten many times in my life. These were simple things, like being forgotten at school.  My greatest fear in life is to die a forgotten soul; a lifeless body, forgotten by the world. I fear dying, feeling as though nothing was accomplished during my lifetime; all of the people I met, and all of the things I did meaning nothing.
I fear being just another faded star in a distant universe; a simple blur amongst the large, glistening stars and constellations that people gaze at in wonder and awe.
I fear being forgotten, within the massive universe.

However, although these fears of being forgotten reside inside me, I know that I will never be like this star. As I look around me, I see that I am surrounded by loved ones, and the memories I share with them. These memories form a bond between us, a bond that can never be broken. Through the good times, and the bad times, I know that they will love me. I know that they will care for me. I know that they will always be there for me. I will shine as bright as the sun; I will never be a forgotten star.

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Expository Paragraph:

(TS) Throughout To Kill a Mockingbird many of the characters become “forgotten”. (SD) Many people are forgotten as the book progresses, for instance, Mrs. Dubose. (CM) Mrs. Dubose became a key part of the book, and Atticus even thought she was, "the bravest person he ever knew” (Lee, 149), because she fought disease and old age without medication. However, as the book progresses, she was sadly forgotten amidst events like the Tom Robinson’s trial. (CM) In fact, she was not even talked about until the very end when Scout was remembering her childhood. (SD) Another character, Boo Radley, was forgotten during the Tom Robinson trial. (CM) The trial was huge in Maycomb, and Scout, Dill and Jem were so focused on the trial that the idea of Boo Radley disappeared from their minds. (CM) Through the beginning of the book, Boo Radley, or at least the Radley house are mentioned in almost every chapter, but during the trial they are not mentioned once.(SD) There is another character in the book who was forgotten, and I believe it is fortunate that he was. (CM) Mr. Ewell was killed by Boo Radley, but Mr. Tate thinks it should be said he “fell on his knife instead,” to cover it up. (CM) The town will forget about everyone involved in killing him, and just be glad the children are unharmed. Mr. Ewell was the only one reminding people about the Robinson case as he tried to get revenge, so his death will help close the Tom Robinson case, and make everyone forget about it. As Mr. Tate said, “Let the dead bury the dead.” (Lee, 369) (CS) Many people have been forgotten throughout the book, one disappeared quickly, one disappeared only to return, and one will take a very long time to be forgotten, at least to Scout and Jem.

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Haiku:

I made a difference.
I lived life to its’ fullest.
I’m not forgotten.

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Recipe to NOT be forgotten:

Step one: Gather ingredients: Laughter, Memories, Loved ones.

Step two: Be different. You want to stand out, to not be forgotten, don’t blend in with society.

Step three: Make friends. Form bonds that can never be broken to ensure you will not be forgotten.

Step Four: Help someone out. If you do community service, volunteer, or help people in other countries with human interaction not money, you will never be forgotten by the people you help. I experienced this during my volunteering at Apple Rehab during the Assessment Project.

Step Five: Live life to its’ fullest. Be happy throughout your life, and you will not be forgotten.

Stir ingredients together, and bake in the world for about a lifetime to ensure you are not forgotten.


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Self Assessment:

For me, the major difficulty for this essay was using proper grammar. We had to write a freestyle essay, while using proper grammar, so Mr. Salsich could grade everyones fairly. If one person was allowed to use any type of grammar they wanted for a poem, while others had to use proper grammar, it would not be fair. This was difficult because I am used to writing poems that do not abide by "proper grammar techniques." I believe I worked around this problem very well. I believe I improved on my last essay by writing more thoughtful, fluid, and graceful sentences. I believe one of the strengths is that my writing was graceful, and very meaningful to me. Even with these strengths I feel the essay could have more details, clarity, and although I tried hard, I believe there are still some grammatical errors. I would give myself a B+ or A- on this essay.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Chris Collins
February 9, 2010
Mr. Salsich
English

Assessment Essay:


Apple Rehab, Care for the Elderly


    As I strolled down the hallway, room after room of glazed, alien eyes examined me. Who could this strange person be, and what are they doing here? That was the beginning of my visits at Apple Rehab in Mystic. Over my 7 visits I learned a lot, and I felt that I was truly making a difference.

    We are young now, but someday, we will be old and need assistance. One reason that I chose Apple Rehab for my Assessment Project was to gain a better understanding of what my possible future might be. I wanted to experience what this future could be like first hand. I wanted to help the people in the nursing home because I knew I would want that same help someday. Another reason I chose Apple Rehab, is because we interviewed elderly people for the biography project in 7th grade, and I really enjoyed it. Elderly people have lived a long life; they have a large wealth of experience, and many fascinating stories to tell. They grew up in a different time period, so talking to them is like taking a glimpse back into the past. One other major reason I chose Apple Rehab is that it is close to home, and well known in the community. I pass the Apple Rehab sign almost every time I drive through Mystic, and I have always yearned to venture inside the building. Apple Rehab has a very good reputation, and after my visits I am happy to say that this reputation is 100 percent true. All and all, I had a great time working at Apple Rehab, and I am glad I chose to volunteer there.

    Volunteering at Apple Rehab was no easy task; I was presented with many challenges during my visits. One major challenge was that most of the residents are old, and have many disabilities. Many had physical disabilities, for example, walking disabilities (wheel chairs), speech disabilities, or hearing problems, that made it difficult for me to interact with them. Many also had mental disabilities like dementia (memory loss). Additionally, I did not have a lot of experience working with elderly people. Therefore, I had to learn how to talk to them so that they understood me and felt comfortable. I also had to learn some safety techniques, like how to maneuver a wheelchair, and knowing Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
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o could walk and who couldn’t so that no one would get hurt. Another major obstacle that I was presented with was that I only had 7 visits there to gain as much knowledge as possible. I had to ask a lot of sometimes uncomfortable questions, like how someone ended up in the home. I also had to get to know people really quickly. Although there were many challenges, I feel I overcame them and had a great time at Apple Rehab.

    During my visits, I feel I not only become another volunteer to the residents, I became a friend. Out of the approximately 60 residents at Apple Rehab there are only 3 male residents. There are not many male volunteers there, so I quickly formed a bond with the 3 men. With nurses and other volunteers, the men mostly talk about health and medicine, so they were delighted to have someone they could talk to about more upbeat things like football. During my visits, I also helped out the staff by doing things like taking down the decorations after Christmas. This was very helpful to them because they could focus on the residents rather then having to take down decorations. Assisting with the supervision of some of the activities, so that many of the workers could accomplish something else, was one of my jobs. While I was there I was a major help in conducting entertainment for the residents. Every week there is some sort of musical entertainment to keep the residents occupied because, “It would be dreadful to increase the duration of life without doing something to make life worth while,” written in Activities Keep Me Going by Charles and Arline Peckham. I helped wheel residents in and out, or stayed to watch the show with them and make sure that everyone was safe. I also entertained the residents by doing one on one visits and talking to them. Even though I wasn’t there for long, seeing the smiles on the resident’s faces told me I was making a difference.

Through research and experiences, it became apparent that elderly people face many more difficulties than I had expected. According to Social Gerontology by Nancy R. Hooyman and H. Asuman Kiyak, even in a nursing home, surrounded by people, elderly people are lonely. They are lonely because much of their family, friends and other loved ones have passed away. Many people spend a good part of their life in a nursing home, and they feel lonely because they are confined to a bed while everyone else is living their life. Elderly people also face some major difficulties: illnesses, for example, Alzheimer’s, which according to the Alzheimer’s Association is a brain disorder that destroys brain cells, resulting in memory loss. These illnesses are difficult for elderly people because they must deal with the emotional stress that they are not going to get better. The elderly must also take a large quantity of medication daily to treat these illnesses. Lastly, I learned that nursing homes are very expensive. It costs a resident an average of about 9,000 to 10,000 dollars a month to stay in a facility like Apple Rehab. Although they are getting good care for their money, it still quickly dries up their funds, forcing them to get state Medicare to pay for them. If you don’t have money or don’t have state funding, it is difficult to get the proper care you deserve. Even in a place with great care like Apple Rehab, I have learned that old age still presents many difficult challenges.

-There are many ways that Apple Rehab can be related to To Kill a Mockingbird. First of all, one related them is loneliness. Boo Radely is lonely; he is stuck in his house watching the world go by. This is what it is like for many residents. Some of the residents at Apple Rehab are stuck in beds, watching, as the rest of the world goes about their daily routine of driving to work, or going for a walk. Secondly, another related theme is education. Scout goes to school, and while she is growing up, she learns new things everyday; just like the rest of us. The residents were the same, they learned throughout their whole life, but as they grow old this reverses and they begin to lose this knowledge. Lastly, in To Kill a Mockingbird, there is a lot of irony. For example, the missionary ladies try to help people in other countries, but ironically, they are racist towards blacks in their own town, and treat them poorly. After Scout heard Miss Gates talking to Miss Stephanie Crawford, she asks, “Jem, how can you hate Hitler so bad an’ then turn around and be right ugly about folks right at home?” (Lee, 331) In the nursing home, one of the men I formed a bond with, Bill, has 6 kids. It is ironic because even though he has all these kids, none of them come to visit. Young people sometimes disrespect elderly people, but ironically they will all be old someday. The themes found in To Kill a Mockingbird are relevant to the issues facing the elderly.

I had a great experience at the nursing home, and I feel I did my job well, but there are a few things I wish I had done differently. Firstly, I wish I had spent more time there. I had a very enjoyable time, and I wish I had started my visits earlier to have more time to talk to the residents. Conversely, I could have gone the same number of visits, but stayed longer each time I went. Secondly, in their old age, many of the residents get tired early in the afternoon, and are not very talkative. I feel that I might have gotten some better information if I had gone to talk to them in the morning. It was difficult to go in the morning because the most convenient time for the majority of my visits was after school. Lastly, between my visits there, one of the residents, Will, died. He was a great man, and a lot of fun to talk to, and I wish I had spent more of my time talking to him instead of doing other things. He had many great, unfinished stories that I wish I could have heard the end to. Even though I wish I had done a few things differently, I still have a sense of accomplishment, and I feel my time at Apple Rehab was invaluable.

I feel that I learned many things over my visits, and these things have made me a better person. Firstly, I learned a lot about the future. I am young now and I must live my life, but I have now realized that someday, I will be old just like the residents at Apple Rehab. I will now treat elderly people with a great amount of respect because I know that’s the way I would want to be treated if I were in their position. Secondly, through the visits, I have enriched my knowledge about the past. Through many of the resident’s stories, I have gotten a glimpse at what life was like many years. Life was very different, they did not possess many of the things we take for granted today, for instance, back then, they did not have computers, so I would have to write this essay by hand. Lastly, I realized that both the elderly people and I benefited from my experience. I was filled with knowledge about what it is like to be old, while they had someone to talk to and could reminisce about being young. While they were enjoying my company I felt gratified that I could make a difference in someone’s life. This was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life so far, and the sense of self accomplishment I gained will stick with me until I am in their places.

I have learned many things during my experience at Apple Rehab; I have learned about the past, the present, and the future. I have also found out that, to me, there is no better feeling than the feeling that you making a difference in someone’s life. This is the feeling I felt while volunteering at Apple Rehab in Mystic, Connecticut. As I walked out of the building on my 7th visit, the eyes that watched me no longer seemed alien, they no longer studied me. Instead, they were friendly; the people had smiles on their faces. The place that had once felt so uncomfortable to me, now felt like home.